Three people, and a word

Just back from munich,
where i’d opted for strange, into the embrace of strangers. But it turned out not one of them felt too unfamiliar even from the get-go.

In lieu of photos,
may my memory serve well preserving the physical experience of you and you and you,

1. He spoke in clear coherent lines. None of the flitting or embellishments of spirited conversationalism distracted by pretty ideas. Neither his words nor gestures are premeditated, yet they go; his hands and body, his smile (such calibrated joy)–they move with a grace only certainty can accord. Let’s not heckle the difference between confidence and certainty, but let’s not conflate them. For a person so quiet and still, his presence positively sang. His thoughts comb the experience of nature. His questions could described as digging, but really only entertainers and warriors dig, and he was neither costume. I realise there were no answers or promises offered, at all; from him were only questions, probabilities, and contracts signed to be delivered. So there i was surprised once, thrice, the next day and again, by his unforgetfulness. When was the last time you communicated without any facetiousness, not a single drop. Try it, it feels so bare. And whole worlds are revealed and you have all the time to explore them finally.

With him, i learnt comfort could be greater than mere awe. That comfort allowed me a greater-ness all the awe could only vaguely summon.

2. A half-cycle less, she had all the grit in her dreams to make up for any lack of experience. She’s been around, around lands and in her mind. Hers was a mind i feel proud to stand alongside– loving the arts, and letting it love and change her. Loving people, and life. Drinking radler and swinging spezi. She reminded me of myself, a half-cycle less. But of course with twice the chutzpah, and the ability to wrap a scarf not her own with an adult flair.

The third choice, always a difficult one after the urgency of the first and the long fondness of the second,

i mutiny now, and refuse to single one out. I remember all dearly and my remembrances are only influenced by the past (whether a day ago or two thousand) and my reactions to heal it. Each new choice really remembers an old other.

So really, to single out a choice is a heavy decision. To say yes, you, above all others, are me and i am you (or at least i’d like it to be so). Once the choice is made, you and the chosen are psychological bedfellows for better or worse.

It’s not possible, the rest are wound in a mobius strip.



and the word,

Veränderung. a shift, modification, a change in ball game going a whole new direction. Do we have a word like that in english?


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