In it’s most extreme form, the failure to perceive the separateness of the other is called narcissism. Frankly narcissistic individuals are actually unable to perceive their children, spouses or friends as being separate from themselves on an emotional level.
The genuine lover always respects and even encourages this separateness and the unique individuality of the beloved… Love is the will to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth… Love is as love does. Love is an act of will — namely, both an intention and an action. Will also implies choice. We do not have to love. We choose to love.
If we know exactly where we’re going, exactly how to get there, and exactly what we’ll see along the way, we won’t learn anything.
When we love another we give him or her our attention; we attend to that person’s growth… When we attend to someone we are caring for that person. The act of attending requires that we make the effort to set aside our existing preoccupations and actively shift our consciousness.
The Road Less Traveled
M. Scott Peck
all the things of otherness,
with your differences, glitches, bewilderments,
bring em on!