Context is everything

, so goes one of the mottos in sociology. And i’m appreciating more how that goes with relationships.
He began the conversation by asking his brother, “have you ever been attracted to another woman?”
Ah, so that’s what this is about, jonathan said to himself. He knew it was time for absolute honesty. “Sure,” he replied, “but i love my wife and made sure not to get involved.”
“What did you do? Quit your job?”
“Nothing as serious as that,” jonathan replied lightly. “i took the advice of my neighbor. You remember that nice old guy who lives next door? One day, over the back fence, i told him about this woman, elizabeth, at work i had been thinking about a lot and asked him how he would handle the situation. He gave me the best advice i’d ever heard. ‘Introduce her to your wife,’ he told me.”
“That was the last thing i would have thought of doing!” Tobias said with a grin. “So did you do it?”
“Yes, and it did the trick.”
Jonathan told tobias that putting his relationship with elizabeth into the context of his being a married man changed the dynamic of their relationship. The attraction disappeared, and over time, elizabeth became a (close) friend of both jonathan and his wife.
“Relationships can’t be put in boxes,” jonathan said. “As human beings, we are meant to be attracted to each other and reach out for connection. Sometimes the resulting relationship doesn’t fit neatly into a category.. Running away from the attraction could have cheated us all of very meaningful connections.”

./ Cellular Wisdom, by Joan C King


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