[. the new Cheeseburger Chill- I can’t go on]
“delightful mix of real beefy goodness, smothered in cheese, loaded with your favorite condiments and blended to creamy perfection…” –Jamba Juice
When I saw that, all I could think of was puke. For all its visual lushness and carefully spotlighted colour, all that it conjured it up within my brain and my throat was vile liquid of the same colour and consistency.
Even though it did indeed look smooth, I could hardly imagine any Cheeseburger -especially the way it should be. I tried to comprehend:
Who will eat buy that? (Then I realise Youtube, The Great Instigator.)
Another tastebud cloying, artery bursting confection from the land of the Golden Arches.
Then I realised it is meant to parody the latest confection of ‘pure fruity freshness’ from the labs of the Golden Arches. Ah. Makes sense now.
Coming from a small (but big enough) starter like Jamba Juice, it’s quite funny actually.
View the product here. Loading video is pretty gnarly.