A bunch of shoulds

This i said to the other:

“Saw the picture you posted, and thought yep, i agree. But then i continued to think.

What are the roots rooted in?
What kind of wings will they grow; and where would they be most inclined to fly?
Are these things we think we can ‘gift’? Are these only ours to give? Do we choose to give more of one over the other? Does the bird go, thinking ‘i mustn’t forget the tree’? Well, if it does think so, why?

Two seconds later–
Why is there a bird in the tree.

Then,
Is the metaphorical child both tree and bird?

And i realised,
Are we not really wishing for the child to embody the living ecosystem; of knowing sustainable growth.

If my kid asked these, i’d like him/her/it to know she can take flight and completely detach from the tree from whence (omg shakespeare grammar alert) it came. Because he/she/it is a citizen of the world, a part of the global, of the universal even. I think this by conscience and by nature.

Sometimes we hold on to roots as a reminder of where we should go, but this is only because roots are already material, easy handles of identity, values and goals. There should be no rings of constraint or obligation, except to those under your care. So go, knowing the roots that fed you, and knowing you take a bit of it with you.

I think roots are almost habit. So our only obligation as parents is to have them know they’ve to go and fly and grow. And well, maybe nitpick at which roots we hold onto.”

 

The chinese queue

. via refinery29

The chinese queue braid was worn exclusively by male manchus during the qing dynasty–china’s last imperial dynasty. Later it was enforced on the han chinese; men who disobeyed faced execution on count of treason.

No matter his status or age, the chinese man wore a queue, spanning much of four centuries. Disillusioned in the sino-japanese war of 1895, some still continued to wear it until the qing dynasty fell. Many stopped when the last emperor, puyi, cut off his own in 1922.

Where hair is used to express power, status, superiority in femininity (or masculinty), and prideful identity to a tribe, the chinese queue braid as a tool of conquest on such a mass scale is unusual. It marks submission and repression. By 1911, cutting it off was integral to political revolution.

There’s a good article on the end of the queue by michael r. godley, in the journal east asian history.

2013: first quarter learnings

Scant posts this past quarter of the year, even after my exciting, loved-up trip to Melbourne. Alas i have become estranged from my computer, and the bits of my life stored in it. Also, work has been very good to me. Nevertheless, here are some thoughts that featured strongly for me this Jan – Mar 2013.

Completely off the cuff–

1. Trust, like love, takes time to build up, so don’t fret your feathers too early. However, like love, trust depends on a kind of intuition. So if it feels too off, steady on the tracks.

2. A book can’t really be judged by its cover. But it sure can be illuminated going by its neighbours on the shelf it’s hanging out with.

3. On that note, you’re not a librarian. You’re not another’s keeper. You’re not god. If the book says its fantasy horror, don’t go insisting it’s more philosophical goth.

4. The thrill of the fall is rather separate from the security of the landing. It’s rather hard to calculate the second based on the first. The former is much deeper fun if you calibrate the second.

5. There’s a reason why kids learn friendship before love. [Insert reason according to your own life experiences.]

6. Always check that you got your namecards before an important meeting. Then, do not put your waterbottle when you place the namecards.

7. Always admit faux pas. But only where the faux pas really matters. This depends if the other person matters to you.

8. Your mother will still be angry at you for the things you did 5, 10, 15 years ago. She may not show it; it may not seem to figure; maybe you didn’t actually do anything. But the hurt’s still there. It’s not your fault. And you could handle it better. Next time. Now move on.

9. Dental insurance is very helpful.

10. Know how high you seek, and be forgiving when it falls a little short. Know how low you can tolerate, and be doubly strict about it. The going gets a little thin, and it’s good leaving a bit of space.

11. Ask. You’re full of questions, so just ask. People are dying to answer. There’s no one best moment to ask, but so long as you ask the best way you can, it’s all good. Just don’t expect the answers you thought you were looking for. That’s what more questions are for. And if the other ain’t too keen on answering, well you know now–

Silver linings playbook: two strings

. silver linings playbook

Recently i watched a movie. It was one of those popcorn disjuncts: midnight hangs outside, the cinema is freezing the few live bodies around and you’re picking out from a crop of alien blue-lit lines that beem movie titles you probably should, but don’t, recognise. And you sign up for one anyway.

Silver linings playbook turned out a perfect quirk for that context. And it was good, each character carried his/her own nib of madness and teeter on the edge (or so you think). But the plot marches along and there’s never actually any rip in normalcy.

At the end, after days and nights and neighbourhood runs of hoping and plotting and succumbing to dance rehearsals with the dark side (played by jennifer lawrence) win his ex-wife back, after the grand coming-together of efforts and subplots, after ‘winning’ the intense dance competition, pat sees his ex-wife nikki and goes up her. And after a movie of a whole lot of talking, he whispers. You kinda guess from what follows, but you see his peace.

Director david o. russell said:
“The intention of it is to say that the best way you can say goodbye to somebody is lovingly, from the best place of yourself, which doesn’t happen often enough in this world. I think very often, when it’s time to say goodbye to each other, we choose to agitate or turn it into something else, because goodbyes can be too emotional. But no, he didn’t agitate, he said it in a very soulful way. I could tell you everything I think he said, but we’ll leave it up to [the audience].”

On the characters:
“The fact that these guys are trying to adopt a positive attitude was really important to me. As Jack Nicholson always says, ‘Try to incline yourself upwards as much as possible’ because it is too easy in this world to incline yourself downwards. These people have every reason to incline themselves downwards, but they’re trying to rebuild the economy of their lives. And that’s why (they) aren’t so fringy to me: they become the most sane people in the room.”

Travelling companions

. The Travelling Companions, 1862.

Augustus Leopold Egg painted this oil on canvas in his later years. He spent them in poor health in southern europe. Are these two sides of the same person, or another so abidingly by your side? It has a strange recognisability. It ought to be proverbial, evoking a particular meaning and tone.

But it never caught on that way. That, i think, fits with the quiet ‘going-awayness’ of the piece. Their extravagant forms contained within, and the main star is the bright coast stretching far into the epic distance.

It shows two together as archetypes of a whole, going somewhere even if it ain’t what others might deem ‘places’. With another of yourself and a warm guide in hand. All safe still, and all excitement ahead. I strongly wish that for my own new year. Happy 2013.

Merry christmas/ the melbourne trip, a quick overview

Melbourne. great ocean road.

First glimpse of the first apostle, and a chance bird to boot.

Christmas is love, and i’m remembering it in this way: In november, i went to melbourne for a friend’s wedding. I went with a friend, missed one who couldn’t make it, and got to know others. Including their families, and pets. I think i got a whole lot more in return. Laughed a lot, ate remarkably well (thanks melbourne, i now know what cafe culture is), saw how love is and could be, strengthened bonds that release and enable, not weigh down or hold back. And importantly, i think i learnt how important the environment is to enable all of that.

Lots of space to be
Knowing to yield, and to gently mould
Cleansing old hurts
Revealing new life
Celebrating the highlights,
but remembering the background stars
Daring to go deep,
breathe breathe breathe.
And
Seeing the big picture

Story of a death

. ‘Taro’ music video by Alt-J (∆). From the album An Awesome Wave.

I’ve been falling in love with a lot of things lately going out and about, not least during the two weeks in melbourne. And i had been getting a little worn.

Then i fell in love with this song, reminding me that the gaze left alone goes far out, as it should, and to always be with compassion. Tune in head, i was transfixed by the music video, which borrows images from the film Powaqqatsi: Life in Transformation (1988). The film shows the huge effort required in the third world to carry on an industrial revolution one hundred years behind the West. Yes, it’s from the western eye, but don’t we all.

A commenter explains the lyrics well: Gerda Taro was a war photojournalist in the early 50′s. She died in her line of work when a tank collided into the side of a car she was riding on. The other important name in this song was Gerda’s romantic interest, and colleague, Robert Capa. During the First Indochina War, Capa retreated from his Jeep in a hostile war zone to take pictures. He stepped on a landmine however, which blew apart his left leg. He was taken to a medical station where he died with his camera in his hand.

On a sidenote, this alt-rock quartet from Leeds is IMHO probably one of the most amazing debuts in recent musical history.